To be honest, Valentine’s Day isn’t my favorite holiday. It was literally made up so companies like Hallmark could make money.
Yesterday my husband had some time to kill, and ended up parked in front of a drug store for an hour. He said he watched one guy after another go into the store, and come out with flowers or something. I suppose it’s sweet, but it also shows the commercial aspect.
But I really feel bad for the people who dwell on their aloneness on Valentine’s Day. It makes romantic relationships seem more important than every other relationship in life, including the all important one you have with yourself.
I’ve found that being in a relationship only works, when you are comfortable with yourself. And when you are comfortable with yourself, you are also comfortable not being in a relationship. It’s a catch 22, to be sure, but the holiday turns your priorities upside down. You don’t need to find THE ONE or your life will be miserable. YOU ARE THE ONE. Love yourself. You can be happy with yourself and by yourself.
Sure, we all need support in our lives, friends or family who are willing to be there for the good times and the bad times. And if you don’t have an adequate support system, you should work to assemble one, even as you learn to be your own best support. Some people also need medical help for their mental health, and you should seek that out if you do.
But binding your needs to the unrealistic Hollywood idea of THE GREAT LOVE, who will be everything for you, and make everything snap into place, is unhealthy and unhelpful. Staying in a bad relationship because you’re afraid of being alone, can be tragic. Your partner should be willing to work on your relationship, and keep it moving in a good direction. If they are not, you may want to find a way out. And even good relationships are not all sunshine and lollipops, lol.
So today, be kind to yourself. Be the greatest love of your life. Discover what makes you happy, and what makes you you. Find things you enjoy doing by yourself. Maybe you don’t think there are any, but you are wrong. You just have to be open to the possibility.
When you love yourself, maybe someone else will, too. But even if you don’t find THE ONE, you are complete. You can have joy, fulfillment, and happiness.